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Igikomere cy'Urukundo: Wagikira Ute?

Urukundo ni rwiza, rugufasha kubaho neza, rukaguha umunezero, rukaguha ishema mu bandi,… ariko rimwe na rimwe rukagutera agahinda iyo uwo wakundaga, wihariye, wasaga n’aho wubakiyeho isi yawe agutengushye, akakwanga, akigendera.

Gutandukana kw’abakundana bishobora guterwa n’impamvu nyinshi. Ushobora kubigiramo uruhare cyangwa bikakugwirira, ariko ikigaragara kenshi ni uko iyo utandukanye n’umuntu wowe ukimukunda bikubabaza kandi bikakugiraho ingaruka, rimwe na rimwe bikanagusigira igikomere ku mutima.

Ese mu rukundo ni iki gituma umuntu akomereka mu mutima cyane?

Hari ibintu byinshi bishobora gutuma umuntu akomereka mu mutima ku buryo bishobora no gutuma umuntu ahita ava mu byo gukundana burundu. Bimwe muri ibyo bintu birimo nko kuba uwo mwakundanaga agusezereye kandi wowe wari ukiyumvamo urukundo cyangwa igihe wari ufite umuntu wimariyemo wabimubwira ugasanga we ntibimurimo ndetse aho kugirango anakumve neza, ahubwo ‘akaguca amazi’ (akagupinga), akakugira umusazi kandi nyamara ibyakubayeho ntawe bitabaho. Ikindi kijya kiboneka ni nk’iyo mu bucuti busanzwe (friendship), umwe ababaje undi akaba yamuvuga nk’amagambo yo kumusebya, kumubeshyera, kumutwarira umukunzi, n’ibindi bintu byose bishobora gutuma icyizere yari agufitiye agitakaza.

Wabyitwaramo ute bikugendekeye bityo?

Abantu benshi bazakubwira bati ihangane, humura bizashira, amaherezo bizagenda neza, uzabona undi ndetse unamuruta,…ariko iyo byakugezeho uba wumva nta n’undi muntu n’umwe ku isi wari wagira ikibazo nk’icyo ufite muri ako kanya.

Aha hari ibintu ushobora gukora kugira ngo ugabanye umubabaro:

1. Gerageza kubyisohoramo:

-Shaka inshuti cyangwa umuvandimwe wisanzuraho maze ugerageze kubimuganirizaho

Ibi birimo no kuba wamuririra ku rutugu, ukarira bihagije rwose. Ibi bizagufasha kuruhuka no kurenga icyo kuri wowe wumvaga gisa n’aho ari isi yakwituye hejuru. Mu gihe ubona bigukomereye cyane, ushobora no kuba wajya kureba umuntu utanga inama (psychologue cyangwa umujyanama mu by’ihungabana), ukabimuganiriza nawe akakugira inama.

-Ntukagire ubwoba bwo kurira kandi iyo ugiye kurira si ngombwa ko uhamagara abantu. Jya ufata umwanya utekereze ku byakubayeho, nubishaka rwose ufate umusego wawe uwuririreho, haba ku mwanywa cyangwa nijoro ndetse ntugatinye no kubikora igihe ugiye koga.

2. Gerageza kwiyumva no kwiyakira

Ibuka ibintu byiza ufite kuko ntabwo ugizwe n’ibibi gusa. Iki ni ikintu gikomeye cyane kuko rimwe na rimwe abantu bakomeretse ku mutima batekereza ko ari amakosa yabo, bakumva ko nta gihe na kimwe bari bakora ikintu cyiza mu buzima bwabo. Ibi twabifata nko kwihohotera kandi ni bibi cyane kuko bikugiraho ingaruka mbi kandi nyinshi. Gerageza kwibuka ibintu byiza ujya ukora cyangwa n’ibyaba byarakubayeho, uzirikane amahirwe wahawe n’ubuzima, icyo inshuti zawe zigukundira,… Niba wowe udashoboye kubyiyibutsa, ushobora no kwegera inshuti yawe wisanzuyeho ikabigufasha.

3. Gerageza kwiyibuka no kwiyitaho

Umutima ukomeretse ushobora kugutera ‘stress’ cyane ariko ntukemere ko utuma n’umubiri wose ubigwamo. Sinzira bihagije, urye neza, ukore imyitozo ngororangingo kugira ngo ugabanye ‘stress’ mu mutwe wawe. Niba usanzwe ukunda gusa neza no kwambara neza n’ubundi komeza ubikore.

4. Jya ukomeza ukore ibintu n’ubundi wari usanzwe ukunda

Niba ukunda kujya kureba filime, n’ubundi jya ubikomeza. Niba hari igitaramo kandi ukunda ikirori ntukagitangwemo kuko bizagufasha kwibagirwa bya bibazo ufite.

5. Gerageza guhora ufite utuntu urimo gukora

Si ukuvuga ko ugomba kwiyibagiza ibyakubayeho, ariko nibura gerageza gushaka utuntu tugufatira umwanya. Iki ni igihe cyiza cyo kujya mu bikorwa bitandukanye nko guhaha, gukora isuku mu cyumba cyawe, kujya gusura inshuti, gutegura imishinga yawe uteganya,n’ibindi bintu byagufasha kubona icyo uba uhugiyeho kurusha guheranwa n’agahinda uterwa n’ibyakubayeho.

6. Ihe umwanya uhagije wo gukira

Hari abantu bihutisha ibyababayeho bagashaka guhita basubira mu buzima bwabo busanzwe batihaye umwanya uhagije. Niba ukomeretse umutima, ni ngombwa ko wiha umwanya uhagije, wo kubitekerezaho, ugashaka uko ubisohokamo ariko atari ako kanya. Kugira ngo igikomere cyo ku mutima gikire vuba cyangwa gitinde bizaterwa n’uburemere bw’icyatumye ukomereka, bitewe n’uburyo ufata icyo kibazo wagize n’uko ucyitwaramo wowe ubwawe. Ku bantu bafite umutima woroshye bikunze kubatwara igihe kirekire kugira ngo babyikuremo (aba bishobora gufata kuva ku byumweru bitatu no kugera ku mezi) ariko ku bantu bafite umutima wihangana kandi bakabifatira umwanya bashobora kumara iminsi ibiri yonyine bakaba bakize.

Hariho abantu bumva nta kintu na kimwe kizongera kubashimisha mu buzima bwabo bwose, bagahitamo kwiyahuza ibiyobyabwenge n’inzoga nyinshi, abandi kubera agahinda baba biyumvamo bagahitamo kwibabaza ubwabo ntibiyiteho cyangwa se ugasanga bababaza abandi bahuye cyangwa bari kumwe.

Si byiza kurakarira n’abataragize uruhare mu kibazo cyawe, ahubwo jya ugerageza kumva ko ibyakubayeho ari ibintu bisanzwe kandi ko nta n’uwo bitabaho, wumve ko kuba byarakubayeho abo bandi nta ruhare babifitemo kandi ntubafate nk’abanzi bawe. Ntugahite urahira ko nta wundi muntu uzongera kwizera no guha umutima wawe kuko buri gihe ubuzima buba bwiteguye kuguha amahirwe ya kabiri.

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